Born: The same day as Jack Fuckin’ Lemmon.
About: Nick is the bastardly genius behind Dorkswithoutfaces, which offers a special blend of comedy and disturbing imagery to waste copious amounts of your free time. His website has has caused some infamy around the internet, pissing off Transformers fans, getting booted off Wikipedia, and patronizing the news media. He also contributes his writing as a head writer at Micro-Shock’s website- they hired him on because as a Canadian he helps Micro-Shock meet its employment equity quota. His other contributions to the detriment of the internet is webmaster duty for Low Budget Pictures and Micro-Shock’s very own websites. He is also a repository on useless information involving Transformers, plot lines to most of Marvel Comics 1960’s storylines, can spot the character Nancy on just about every episode of the classic Degrassi Junior High series, and he is a professional beer drinker. He is currently working on a number of projects that will probably make even more people on the internet not like him.
Favorite Crap: Nick likes all manner of bad movies, the worst the better. When asked why this is he usually responds with, “Well, somebody made them to be watched, and I’ve nominated myself as the one to watch them.” While he spends most of his time complaining about how bad he thinks they are he secretly loves them. He also likes comic books a little too much. Once somebody found him stark naked with a copy of “Superman Meets the Quick Bunny” on his junk. He is also an authority on stupid crap on the 80’s because he “survived it”. As the token Canadian of the group, he also enjoys beer and socialized health care.
Dr. Rhonda Baughman – Nick’s American counterpart, comrade, MicroShock writer-in-arms. She writes … a lot.
|Daniel Hassig – Born September 26th, 1981. There isn’t much hard data known for certain about Mr. Hassig. The rumors are numerous. He’s seen it all however, and experienced even more. From countless zombie apocalypses, to Judgment Day, to the archival footage of Case Designate Cloverfield. He is as harsh and critical as he is an elitist. He claims to have saved the world and/or universe an indeterminate amount of times, and has over the years lost count of how many Nazis, zombies, and Nazi zombies he has killed. He smokes, he bitches, and now apparently, he writes. In ‘Golden Eye‘, “M” called James Bond a misogynistic dinosaur, a relic of the Cold War.God only knows what she’d say about Daniel.|
Born: July 28th 1977
About: Chris is the Co-Creator and Head Writer of Micro-Shock, and is
Creator/writer/director for Low Budget Pictures which has been making independent horror/comedy films for over sixteen years. He created LBP back when he was fourteen years old. A first class Tomfoolerist who
loves Ska music, B-movies, Horror, Crappy shlock, Big natural boobs, fantasy power metal, His wife and child, and comic books. First got into horror and wanting to make films when he was 7. No one even tried to stop him.
Chris’s mind has been warped due to veiwing so much Horror and off beat comedy growing up. His mother and Uncles would shove so many B-movie pleasures down his pantaloons that he couldn’t help but scrape it out and eat it with a smile. Now into his 30’s nothing much has changed. He still loves him some sloppy B-culture and swims around in a pool of erotic socks and nut dustual dreams from time to time. He also collects sweet comics and even sweeter toys and movie memorabilia, and he hopes to one day own his own gnome and name it gnorm! Or at least own Marc Singer… ‘cus Marc Singer in Chris’s words is “Fucking pure fantasy action in the form of a muscular human like GOD”. Oh and he also thinks fellow staffer and friend Mike is really Peter Billingsly incognito, how rad would that be? I ask you.
Staff and Previous Contributers:
William Weird: William Weird is a independent film buff. He writes for his own blog The Bearded Weirdo Review. He is also a regular contributor for bthroughz.com. He has appeared in a number of films released by Low Budget Pictures and has just finished a documentary about Chris Seaver and his company.
Josh Dobson: Josh Dobson is a writer from Canton, Ohio.
Davide Venanzio PagniMauri: Hailing from Italy, Davide is an expert of Italian horror films and has interviewed many of the create creators in the industry. His documentaries the Simonetti Project and Blu Bar are critically acclaimed films that have been screened Tohorror Film Festival. http://www.davinotti.com/
Doctor M: Dr. M was born in New Orleans and educated at Yale. He holds a doctorate in History and has taught at various universities in the US and at programs abroad. He currently devotes himself to the pursuit of leggy co-eds and to becoming a character in a Wm. Gibson novel. He may be found in various exiles’ bars in cities where it’s always an autumn midnight.
Reviews from people who have seen Michael O’May:
“I think he has brain damage from all the bad movies he watches.” -Mike’s Mother
“It’s nice to see that do-nothing stain on the family name is doing something constructive for a change, I still wish his parents had adopted an Asian kid.” –Mike’s Grandmother
“Most people with college degrees do more with themselves than hunt down betamax tapes 24-7.” – Mike’s roommate
“Nothing says romantic like a guy who sings you Weird Al songs and shows you his collection of ‘Weng-Weng’ films.” -Mike’s Girlfriend
“Mike is a shining example of what happens when you watch too many movies with “Slumber Party” or “Massacre” in the title” . -Mike’s Therapist
“He’s the only guy I call when one of those ‘What.s the movie where the guy fights that thing with the robot arm’ questions come up. He’s a walking stack of useless knowledge.”-Mike’s Parole Officer
So, some would say Mike is the kind of dork that was forged in the fires of hell. The kind of geek that knows what the movie is before the title crawls across the screen. He spends his money on action figures and comics instead of food and clothing, and he constantly talks about the most obscure shit in the world like everyone knows what the hell he’s talking about. Special? Yes.
Early in life Mike decided he would dedicate all his free time to shitty and cult movies and Micro-Shock is the culmination of years and years of dangerous exposure to the best of the worst. His love for cult cinema is matched only by his love of Helen Keller Jokes and midgets. Mike has seen more jive ass, shot on video, grind house, drive in, double feature, 3D, banned by the man, not for the squeamish, XXX, Scatological, Alan Smithy, special edition, German cut, video nasty movies than most men alive and for some reason he’s proud of that.
So grab a seat and let Mike be your tour guide through the taint of cinema.
Andrew Shearer spent the first 17 years of his life in metro Atlanta
within walking distance of the Buford Highway Twin Cinema. He started
gOnZoRiFFiC in 1995 using sharpie markers and a xerox machine and brought it to the web in ’98 where it quickly became recognized as one of the first online resources for reviews of underground and cult film. In 2003 Andrew partnered with actress Monica Puller to create GONZORIFFIC FILMS whose bizarro-feminist productions continue to play festivals worldwide. Andrew is also the co-host of FREAK FORUM SOUTH podcast, staff writer for PRETTY-SCARY.NET and guitarist for punk band
Photo by Juls Knapp
Isabel Da Morte
Isabel Da Morte or Izzy for short, is a model, actress, writer, promoter and film maker. She is also a mother and a wife. Izzy enjoys acting, modeling, and making independent films with her husband in their home based production company “ENDLESS DARK PRODUCTIONS“. She enjoys many types of modeling such as: goth & horror themed, glamour, pin up, fantasy, rock n’ roll, punk, metal and print/editorial, band promo. She is an OFFICIAL BLOODY MESSY GIRL. Isabel has been in a few independent films and she is very active in the independent film genre. She does a wide range of things in the genre, from writing film reviews, promotional work, running “The NG26 Alliance” (the official U.S. fan base for the UK band “Ng26″), acting, and modeling. She is a force to be reckoned with, “a wiley little vixen” who loves all things horror and B cheese. So keep your beady little eyes peeled for more from “Izzy”!